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Because of you: Pinestar and Tigerkit/paw/claw
I will not make the same mistakes that you did, I will not cause my heart so much misery I will not break the way you did, you fell so hard Why, dad? Why'd you leave me? You were a great father. Someone to look up to, a shining leader with upholding examples allowing everyone to follow them. You could have stayed here as an elder, at least, and I'd be so happy to be apprenticed to gather your moss and everything. I wanted to be just like you, but you failed me. You failed everyone by walking off and making the Clan Sunstar's problem. You threw away everything when you became a kittypet. And I will not fail anyone that way, not on my watch. Because of you, I never strayed too far from the sidewalk Because of you, I learned to play on the safe side, so I don't get hurt, because of you The rest of that fearful night, I glared at my nest. I thought about how kittypets were so stupid and why would anyone want to keep them: they're lazy, requiring food and water and giving nothing back in return. Except for what? Comfort? You can do that just as easily for your Clanmates as well as a Twoleg, and maybe your comfort would dig a little more stronger. But actually, I'm glad you didn't stay longer. I wouldn't have been too attached so I couldn't have been more broken than I am now. I got a new father, Thistleclaw. He's awesome. And at least he has the same notions as me; distrusting kittypets, shying away from their territories on border patrols. I want to be just like him when I grow up. Like Thistleclaw, because at least he didn't abandon his family and throw away what it meant to be a Clan cat. I lose my way, and it's not too long before you point it out I cannot cry, because I know that's a weakness in your eyes I've just been made an apprentice, dad. By guess who? Your DEPUTY, Sunstar. Who's now the leader. I wished today it was you. But I pushed back the thought and crawled into my nest, trying to sleep. I couldn't, my brain was whizzing so fast I could barely think. I got exactly what I wanted: Thistleclaw as my mentor. He'll teach me all the ways to defeat a kittypet, hopefully. Battle moves, at least. I can't wait to see you slink back to your Twoleg nest when I'm done with YOU, you stupid excuse for a father. But even with all the words thrown at you, all the hate in my mind, I can't express it out loud, the regret and sorrow I feel. Not with Thistleclaw glaring at me. He'd see it as softness, because any giving step to a kittypet can mean your destruction. Or at least, a hole in your loyalty. That's what he's been drilling into my head all the time he let me explore the territory. I'm enjoying it. Watch out, dad. The next kittypet I might terrify tonight might be.. you! I watched you die, I watched you cry, every night in your sleep I was so young, you should have known better than to lean on me, you never thought of anyone else You just saw your pain What were you thinking when you crossed the camp entrance for the last time? All the exciting times you'd have with your new Twoleg owner? Or were you trailing behind in your wake, gazing mournfully at the Clan who've once called you their leader, only to turn away at a possible death? That could even be called honorable, a place gauranteed in StarClan for you? I'm sorry, dad. But... I truly despise you now. I don't care for you anymore. I don't have any place for you in my heart, my memories (which were so distant I'm surprised I remember them), or cats I want to make proud. I don't want you to feel anything because of me. You don't deserve my feelings, my gratitude, my... anything. Why didn't you think of me before you crossed Camp boundaries? My sisters? Your mate? Your Clanmates? Just, why? Don't even try answering, because I know what your answer will be: for yourself. Poor Tigerstar! No one really understands him in the books, because he's hated by every cat in the Clans. But they don't know the full story. Even Bluestar seems to have forgotton, along with Pinestar and Leopardfoot who we never see in StarClan (except for that one time in Bluestar's Prophecy). Anyways, I'd appreciate all comments, concerns, etc. (And even a little fanmail ;) Hehe). But seriously. I hope you enjoyed my fanfic and be prepared to expect more! :D Category:Songfic